Comes with 98 different ringtones, each a recording of Steve Jobs explaining how cool and visionary Steve Jobs is
GPS feature automaticaly refers to user as the center of the universe
Uses a complex algorithim to determine which friends' calls should be answered based on how cool they are
Automatically deducts ridiculous sum of money from your bank account
Ignores the irony of you making fun of people who camped out for days to see the Star Wars prequels after you waited days at SouthPark to buy a new phone
makes you feel like James Bond, despite lousy job and bad haircut
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