A panda-crazed public crashed servers and, possibly, killed one or two National Zoo staffers in the rush to gobble up all the Butterstick viewing tickets before I could even get a cup of coffee. Several mothers were sold into slavery, also many sets of eye teeth are reported missing.
DC Metro police and Zoo interns are currently cleaning up the carnage along Connecticut Ave. Massive triage in the Zoo Bar. Starbucks has been torched. Police are advising all residents and visitors to avoid the area between Cleveland Park and Woodley Park Metro stops until further notice.
Every day from here to January 2 is booked. Solid.
Bastards.
I hope you enjoy all the nose-twitching, bamboo-munching Buttertastic cuteness.
Bastards.
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