Monday Update

Bits and pieces from the weekend and beyond.

Folks in Baltimore love their dogs.
So much that they let the little rascals run wild all over any strip of grass in the city, no matter how close the nearest busy street or how many other people are trying to walk, run or jog in the same space. Let's make this clear: Fido is, deep down inside his cute, fuzzy wuzzy heart, still wild. He'll bolt at the first sign of a cat, squirrel or other dog and then, well, all you can hope is there isn't a car coming. More than that, when you see me huffing and puffing along in my running gear with my dog on a leash, could y'all at least, for the love of Pete, grab your dog? I mean, do you think I want your dog tripping me up while I exercise? Is this some fun game you like to play? I know it's unfair that there aren't enough Dog Parks in the city, but that doesn't mean you get to just declare any space a Dog Park, like Columbus claiming the New World for Spain. Act responsibly. Fido and I will thank you.

Folks in Baltimore like old crap.
There's a warehouse across the street from Tecki World Headquarters, where nothing much happens. Every once in a while a truck with a pink question mark on the side shows up and drops stuff off. Thought perhaps the Riddler had set up shop there, but alas. No Caped Crusader sightings in my future. Once a year this place has a big ass garage sale. They set up early, and had to tie caution tape in front to keep out the hordes of Roland Park housewives chomping at the bit for their chance to snap up antiques and lewdly painted mailboxes. A team of Pink-clad teenagers buzzed about, selling junk and serving doughnuts -- with their bare hands, yuck. Also serving some concoction known as "momossas." This misspelling made me as angry as the "cinnimon" ice cream at Sylvan Beach the night before.

Craigslist is awesome.
Sold a bunch of stuff already, a bunch more to come. Within a few minutes of posting a new item, I get plenty off responses. Mostly from immigrants, surprisingly. Got to meet a pretty international crowd of bargain-hunters, from as far as Nigeria, India and New Jersey. BTW: Still got stuff to sell, so check out the furniture section of Baltimore's site.

I love the Simple Life.
No, not the TV show. But living simply is the way to go. The previous generation seems to like collecting things. All kinds of things, useless and useful, significant and insignificant, working and broken. Too many people we know have houses full of junk they don't need -- if they ever did. That's why we've hit the CL, trying to dump our junk on other people and start with a clean slate. It's a bit rough at first, trying to pare down to the actual essentials. I don't know if I really want to go the whole Buddhist route, denying all material possessions. But the more books, appliances, furniture and knick knacks we pile up in the spare room, the more stuff we realize we don't need or even want. It's funny just how much stuff we've moved with over the years from place to place, only to get rid of now. But I already feel better. An uncluttered home means an uncluttered mind.

Malls suck, even downtown.
Jim Rouse is some big fucking hero for saving Baltimore and building Columbia, but all he did was plop a suburban mall along the waterfront. Yeah, yeah, he brought the suburbanites downtown to spend money, along with masses of touristas. Know what? Harborplace is the same as every other crappy tourist site in America. Fanieul Hall in Boston is the same place, except with Boston and Red Sox junk instead of Baltimore and Orioles junk. Same stores, same restaurants, same soullessness. It's a nice walk around the water, at least.

Speaking of Soulless malls.
It's time for Blue State America to do our patriotic duty and start makin' babies. Seriously. Went to the hell that is Arundel Mills on Saturday to have lunch with the TeckiUncle and TeckiCousin on their way to board a cruise ship in New Jersey. I've had the "Mills Experience" more times than I'd like, unfortunately, having somehow found myself at four of their mauls. Don't ask why. After saying our farewells to the happy travelers, we decided to do some shopping, as we needed some stuff. God. The grossness, the garishness, the whole ugly mess of it. All that's wrong with our beloved country can be found in Mills Malls across America. I could actually feel myself dying inside as we searched in vain for things we actually needed among the chain stores hawking useless junk and overstock while tripping over filthy, rude children and their cowlike parents. All we got out of the experience was a hat and a new appreciation for Whole Foods. It's time we worked to outnumber these people. Are you with me?

Well, that's the news from Charm City. Good Night, and Good Luck.