iPods and Rotten Apples

I love my iPod. Really, it's pretty much the coolest thing I've ever owned, it's convenient and works seamlessly.

It should, since it's practically brand new.

Technically we got the iPod as a gift more than a year ago, but after several problems with the original suddenly refusing to work for weeks at a time, we finally gave up and drove down to Charlotte from Concord in July to replace it. We figured the long trip would be worth it, since we were getting ready to move up here to Chicago and wouldn't have time to have a replacement delivered.

After waiting 45 minutes just for an appointment with one of their black-shirted "Geniuses," we had the opportunity to have this certified Apple expert click the on-off button and hold down the menu and select buttons like it says on the Web site, then tell us it doesn't work and we'd need a replacement.

Uh, yeah.

He then told us it would cost $29 to replace our iPod, even though it was still under the original 1-year warranty. (Fortunately, we had just bought the extended warranty, but I still don't understand how Apple can charge me $30 to replace their defective product. Even if it's for shipping and handling, isn't it their job to suck up the costs in the name of customer service?)

But I digress. So I tell Mr. Genius with the backward baseball cap, "But hey I have the extended warranty." "Oh, no problem, we can get you a replacement right now." Great, right?

Well, even though I ordered the warranty online, and this is a cutting-edge technology company, he tells me I can't activate the warranty until the warranty package comes in the mail. So he can't help us. Seriously.

I definitely don't need a genius to tell me what every other customer service rep has ever told me "Uh, sorry, I can't help you."

We should have argued our case, but hungry and frustrated we returned home, where I proceeded to get lost in Apple's confusing customer service Web site before finally getting tangled in their Phone Tree. Once I reached a live human being, he told me he could activate my new warranty over the phone without the package and send us a box so we could replace the iPod. All I needed to do was open the e-mail with my order confirmation and read him a number. Something the Genius at the store could have done, since the store is, big shock, filled with computers.

I explain to the phone guy that we are moving in 2 weeks, and he says no problem, becuase the new iPod will arrive in 10 days -- plenty of time. Even despite some issues with DHL, we managed to send the old iPod back to Apple in time.

But then they decide to tell me that, since the iPod was engraved, it will actually take 2 more weeks to send the replacement ipod, since all the engraving is done in China. (Something the guy on the phone knew when he told me it would take just 10 days). Apparently even though there are plenty of places to get a cigar case engraved for Father's Day, only China has ipod engraving technology.

So after several angry phone calls to change the delivery address to Chicago, and missed delivery dates, we finally get our replacement iPod. And like I said, it's great.

But despite several phone calls to complain about my treatment, I have received nothing more than empty apologies and no results.

I am absolutely apalled at the way we were treated by Apple throughout the process, from the unhelpful store clerk with an attitude to the uninformed phone help to the fact that Apple actually expected us to shell out $30 to replace their broken product. And judging by the way Steve Jobs and his minions have treated iPhone customers lately, I can only deduce that this terrible attitude comes directly from the top.

The only way Apple gets away with their awful customer service is because they know people will always want the next cool thing. Apple isn't the revolutionary start-up it was when it broadcast that "1984" ad during the Super Bowl. It's just another monolithic, indifferent corporation like any other. That shift is bound to come back to bite them in the end.